[opening theme music]
Will somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call when you Want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Right on♪
♪ They're stamping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche, He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch♪
♪ And little Polly Esther Who's never afraid♪
♪ That's me! Of going into battle♪
♪ When the bad guys invade♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis A wild romantic rover♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails Get off my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Three, two, one The Pizza Cats are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crows♪
♪ As soon as someone Finds the script♪
♪ We might begin the show♪
♪ Sit right back Pick up your feet♪
♪ And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie Hahaha♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[musical chimes]
Foolish mortals, now that you have dared to trespass upon
my domain, you must know that there's only one punishment
suitable for such foolishness. You will pay the dreadful price,
and see your bravery blow you away,
in the wind of terrible change. [screams]
[laughing]
[gulps] [sighs]
Oh boy, that was crazy.
I'm glad to see the old-fashioned
art of storytelling hasn't completely disappeared.
Think that pop-out book's too scary to make a good birthday
birthday present for my nephew?
Well, I think that depends a whole lot on whether you want
your nephew to grow up.
Ye, you scaredy cats, that little story was nothing at all.
You sure you really cut out to be Pizza Cats?
Big words, Speedy!
Who'd I'd see behind the couch in the last thunderstorm?
Ha, I was looking for my gloves, that's all.
I don't believe you guys can take it.
[shrieks] Oh no! I just realized I forgot my birthday.
-Silly me. -[grunting]
Uh, well, anyway, just to finish on the point I was making.
To be a hero like me, you've got to as brave as the day is long.
-[gasps] [shrieks]
[shuddering]
[narrator] Wait a minute, what's this?
Either the neighbor's stereo is too loud again,
or this episode is gonna have a lot of special effects.
[stuttered squealing] It's an
earthquake! [screams]
[crashes]
[glass tinkling]
That was no good.
No, it wasn't. Is everyone alright?
[distant scream of Speedy]
Is it over yet?
[crying] Tell me when its finished please.
Now there's something you don't see every day.
[narrator] Speedy has just taken that long step into
the high fright zone, but Speedy isn't the only one.
[groans] [rattling]
Oh, I think you can come down now.
The shaking appears to have stopped.
Oh sure, that's exactly what you'd like me
to think, isn't it?
For all I know, the minute I'm down, it'll start again.
Smooth, the old cheese-up doesn't like it. [chuckles]
Are you laughing?
I don't pay you just so I can hear you giggle.
There isn't a thought furthest thing from my mind,
I was just thinking.
[Big Cheese] Hm?
An idea for a robot.
You've got to understand we're working as fast as we can.
I'm a construction engineer, Captain, not a magician.
Take another week, take a month, heck, take whatever it takes.
Send the bill to Big Cheese. [laughs] I will redeem.
[narrator] You may think that the strain has gotten
to Geriatric, that he's driving with only one headlight,
a brick shy of a full load, in short,[indistinct].
You could be right.
[chuckles] Yes, but it feels good.
I'm bringing home a baby, mind not me. [squawks]
What?
[ting] Hm?
[screaming]
Hey Mom, where's everyone going?
If you can keep your head when everyone around you
-is losing theirs-- -You don't know what's going on.
[narrator] As shaky as things are in Little Tokyo,
some of the residents are even shakier.
[screaming]
[laughing]
Its shaking, its moving, its shaking, its moving,
its shaking.
[laughing loudly]
We gotta get outta here, what's the matter, I'm flapping,
but I'm not taking off, I could use some advice, Geri.
[grunting]
Ready? I really wanna see the dust flying this time.
Now think of what you doing. Concentrate.
Go out there and win one for the chirpers.
[robot] You got it.
[grunts]
[narrator] Isn't it amazing what you can do with styrofoam,
and balsa wood?
And a huge special effects budget.
[cries] Uh, isn't there anything in the lease saying
they have to keep the pergoda from jumping up and down?
You're just a little out of sorts.
Why don't you settle your nerves with some nice, fresh sushi?
Geri, are you out of your mind, you know I can't eat anything
on an empty stomach.
Sushi?
I really wonder about you sometimes.
You take a guy and give him a good job and he pays you back
with whiskers growing out of his beak and an attitude.
I can't believe I've done this to you.
No question you deserve more respect than that.
Sometimes I think I must've been born with something missing
other than those fingers, I mean.
To treat you, you like this, oh.
I can't live with myself unless you forgive me. [cries]
-Oh, of course I do. -My friend, you're a prince.
Nothing will ever come between us again.
Ours is a strange and wonderful relationship.
[narrator] Ah, there's nothing like true friendship.
The kind that nothing can pull us under.
[screams]
It's going again, what'll I do, what'll I do? [crying]
[narrator] Yes, true friendship is based on total respect.
Never takes advantage, and is always there when you need it.
I'm gonna kick you with the tool brush,
if it's the last thing I do.
[narrator] Meanwhile, at the Pizza Cats restaurant
Sorry, guys, I lost it.
[Guido] Hey buddy, it happens sometimes.
Everybody's got something bigger than them they can't handle.
-[Lucille sobs] That's so sad. -Huh?
[Guido] Lucille, don't do it.
To see a person become so vulnerable, [gasps]
I can't, [gasps]
take it. [screams]
[explosion]
[thud] [grunts]
Luckily it only hit him in the head.
Yeah, it could've been some place that hurt.
[sobs] We've got to do something for Speedy.
Maybe write to Reader's Digest: Save this cat now!
I've got to pull myself together.
I can and will.
I'm not gonna let a small thing like an earthquake get to me.
The way of the Pizza Cat is always hard.
I must be strong.
I will be strong. [jiggles]
Speedy?
[glass cracks]
[glass tinkles]
He's just falling apart.
[narrator speaking indistinctly]
...why it appears to be a little tiny door.
And it appears that Big Cheese is the one making the break.
[sobbing]
I just can't go on this way.
[narrator] Now talk about your wild coincidences.
Later, guys, it's just that I can't go on this way.
Ah, thank you, Wind, for showing me the way.
[narrator] Does Speedy need help?
Well, he is talking to the wind.
If I get an answer, then I need help.
[narrator] Well, what if you get a question?
[screams] Then I need help alright!
Oh, that's the last time I ask questions.
Anyway, as the sun comes up, morning finds Speedy
well on his way to-- oh, wherever he's going,
I don't know and I'm not asking.
Yip, I'm on the right path,
I'll be wrapped in spiritual guidance,
before you can say word or air heart.
One of the Pizza Cats? Maybe I should follow them.
I don't need to know why, that's the writer's problem.
[snickers]
[shouts] Speedy's gone, and it's two-for-one pizza day.
[grumbling]
Is number six here? Number six, blue cheese and cilantro?
A cat's gotta do, what a cat's gotta do.
It's a spiritual thing.
[shouts] What's a cat gotta do? [gasps]
I'll stuff his spirit when I get my hands on him.
[gasping]
Huh?
[rumbling continues]
Getting worse.
I hope there's some restaurant left when it's all over.
I hope Speedy's okay.
[giggling]
So am I supposed to guess why you're here,
en-gracing me with your presence? Alright, if I must.
Its elementary of course,
you're tracking and ancient Samurai treasure word.
Great Guru, I need your help.
I've lost the Pizza Cat fire, and have to find it again.
Oh sure, I knew that.
[narrator] Having sought out his spiritual leader,
Speedy will now begin to conquer his fear of earthquakes.
-Oh, that's the deal? - That's the deal.
Well, of course I knew that, that'll be no problem at all.
There is a blossom with strong herbal powers,
the Bladder Samuraitus. It will restore your confidence
and incidentally, clear up some of those zits.
Guru, where can I find this blossom?
[Guru] Well you could try the ones in the backyard.
Yes, I will conquer this weakness,
I will no longer fear the earth moving beneath my feet.
Aha, conquering the fear of earthquakes?
I could use some of that.
[Speedy] I will conquer my fear.
I swear, by the sacred mountain, Mount Coochie.
Now where's that door? Oh, here. [laughs]
My cure is at hand by the power of the sacred flower. Hm?
[chuckles] And this is what happens when you move the story
along, faster than anyone thought.
I'm glad I'm not working background.
Get on with it, Speedy! I've got a hot dinner date tonight.
-What are you doing there? -Get out of my garden!
No, I don't think so, I heard what you said.
These flowers are gonna clear my mind.
I'll clean your clock if you don't get out of there.
Right!
[gulping]
[gulping continues]
[gasping]
[squeals]
[gasps]
[Guru] Snap out of it, Speedy.
Now, tell me about your confidence level.
To tell you the truth, old Guru, my Guru, I don't feel
-any different at all. -What?
I'm confident that I'm going to be sick.
What? Huh? [gasps]
Wait, relaxing blossom?
How can I go back and be a Pizza Cat again?
How can I go back and be the criminal empire?
I think I'll just lie down, and have a little nap.
[grunt] I think they should wake up again in about a year.
[grunting] [groaning]
[screams]
[shouts] Yah! Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! I have the power.
Actually, the power's in the engine
that drives the transmission.
[laughs] That's a good one.
[grunts] [loud thud]
[yelling]
I think we've gotten to the part of the show where we have to
-beat up on the Ninja Crows. -Yeah!
[Francine] Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special Pizza Cats
delivery, so make sure you're securely strapped down,
and that all your money is safely stowed in your pockets.
We've set the direction and also your aim.
To you, they're just crows, but to us, they're big game.
Standby.
[explosion]
[lively music]
I hope you like the special effects,
they're paid for out of the catering budget.
Hi there, come here often?
I'm Meowsma, I've come to help you out. [grunts]
Going down.
[gasps] Look at that!
Well, what a shock, if it isn't Geriatric, Bad Bird and a robot.
Sorry, no time to talk,
I've got a great big criminal empire to get started.
-So get started! -Righty oh, standby.
Preparing to surface, and wreak destruction
on helpless civilians.
[robot] I think I can, I think I can,
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.
[grunts]
[crashing]
I could.
[electric shocks]
[explosion]
[all cats] Oh no! It's a great, big train!
[laughing] I think you missed the boat.
Missed the boat, get it?
Yeah, yeah, run down, I got it already.
[hooting]
[groans]
[screaming]
[screaming continues]
-I don't like this a lot. -I'm not breathing a lot.
Yes, but I'm enjoying this hugely, hugely, get it?
I think this bird's losing it. Make tracks for the back.
[grunts]
[groaning]
Whoa.
I feel like my navel's pressing my spine. [groans]
[sighs]
[groans]
Bird seed, get your fresh bird seed right here, bird seed.
Fill your crop, bird seed, bird seed?
No, thank you.
Worms, get your worms here. Box of worms?
Not today.
Cakes of suet, I got you nice cakes of suet.
Would you like some?
No, take my word for it, will ya? [groans]
-Free worms, nice worms? -Want some suet?
-Tape worms? -Suet, worms.
Oh no, I can't take it.
I'd rather they beat me up.
Isn't there a law against this?
Aren't you glad we had this time together?
Glad we had this time, I always enjoy myself hugely. [laughs]
[squawking]
[screaming]
[Guru] Wake up, kids!
[grunts] Thanks I think, did I need that?
What you need is a swift kick in the hip pocket.
Wake up and smell the garlic.
There are people who need you to fight for them,
and you're going to.
[sighs] I'm no good anymore.
Oh, you're no good, no future, a wart on the chin of society.
Why, you must be just as bad as him.
[groans]
Wake me up for breakfast, eh.
What?
[screams] No! [cries]
Anything but that, I'm better than Big Cheese.
I wasn't that bad, I couldn't possibly have been that bad.
I'm not cheesy.
[shouts] I'm a Pizza Cat!
Welcome back, kid, good to see you.
My Guru, again, I must thank you for your spiritual leadership.
Just get out there.
Beat the pants off all the bad guys.
I will.
[action music]
Geri, the electric blanket is set too low, turn it up.
And tell the kids to be quiet, I'm tired.
[Guru] Kid, I'm not sure what I did,
but I tell ya, I'm glad I did it.
[hooting]
I'm considering moving into redevelopment.
I got the idea one day when I was watching this old house.
[Speedy] Hey, stop the train! -Huh?
Did we lose one of those cats?
[Speedy] And come out with your wings up.
[Bad Bird] You can't be serious.
I am extremely serious about it.
I'll take it easy on ya.
[Bad Bird] Hey, have you been taking too much
vitamin B12, or something?
I'm in a big, steel train here,
you're out there wearing white plastic, give me a break!
A Pizza Cat pulls this floater bomb.
[explosion]
Whoa!
We're going this way now.
Where do you think you're going?
I'm the engineer, stop right now!
You got it.
No! [brakes screeching]
[grunts]
[creaking] [thud]
You rotten cat!
[Speedy] Well, you're a dirty bird.
Come out, and we'll discuss it.
I'm not coming out. If you want me,
you will have to come and get me.
Believe me, that can be arranged.
If what you want is for me to open this train
like a can of sausages, then that's what I'll do.
[narrator] At last, the moment of feline truth,
the magical and mysterious Ginzo sword comes to life,
in a blaze of glory in the hand of a true Samurai Pizza Cat.
It is invincible.
Also real shiny.
[shouts] Pizza power, yikes!
Whoa!
[shattering]
[screaming]
Yeah!
Pizza every day.
Taada!
[narrator] Back at the plush pergoda:
Get out of here, you moronic mound,
to think you may be a bird, but you're no featherweight.
[groans]
But I am not slim, friends don't hurt each other.
No, but sometimes they have little blowups.
[indistinct shouting]
[explosion]
[narrator] And as the sun sinks slowly in the West,
we bid a fond farewell to the peaceful citizens
of Little Tokyo.
Our furry, feline heroes have once again proven that evil
cannot stand the good truth, just as niceness.
And extra thick cheese.
And remember to always believe in yourself,
because if you don't, no one else will either.
[narrator] Ladies and gentlemen,
the Samurai Pizza Cat Fan Club Oath:
The Pizza Cats are Samurai,
and I'd like to note,
their antics take your breath away,
like fur balls in your throat.
We kittens are a special breed,
We never call retreat.
Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down,
we land upon our feet.
So, hail to the ole Pizza Cat,
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink,
we know you'll fight like--
Pizza Cats!
[lively music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hoped you liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Hahaha♪
♪ Oh gosh♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town Hahaha♪
♪ Of all you have O yeah♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight Why do we expectorate♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits so you Know who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Hahaha♪